Suburban Snapshots

I Live With These People: A Photo Series

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

I never have to ask my 9-year-old whether she's brushed her teeth, I just look at the sink, the floor, the side of the adjacent cabinet, anything that could be used as a towel, and the toothbrush holder, where hers will inevitably be plunked head-first into the bacteria pool at the base. I Live With These People is a celebration of the universal struggle to coexist with other living beings, and I'm taking submissions. Enjoy the first collection.

1. What is it about toilet paper that incites such aggressive apathy in otherwise reasonable people? Actually my kid did this so strike everything I just said.



2. Sometimes you're just not hungry enough for an entire strawberry.



3. My dog may not pay rent or refill the water bowl, but he can make his own snacks.




4. My friend's husband vacuums the fireplace for company, so I know who to call if I ever have to dispose of evidence.


 

5. Another friend received this dramatic reenactment of "I Nearly Brained Myself On Your Rainboot" from her husband.



6. This baby's mom has 4 boys under 5 so really this tub poop could be a few baths old.



7. I like to leave the butter out, but this overachieving husband likes to leave it ALL the way out.



9. Clearly this husband was overwhelmed by the Sophie's Choice of having two trash cans for just one K-Cup.



10. Here's a stark look into the future of that strawberry biter.


11. It's tragic when children are pulled into alien tractor beams from the safety of their own bathrooms.



Have a submission? Email it to me and let me know if you'd like credit, or if being mentioned will have you shunned from your community.