Suburban Snapshots

Twelve Angry Commenters

Thursday, October 17, 2013

After spending a week in the den of Internet commenters, I thought I'd have some fun with the ridiculousness of it all and roped in some of my favorite funny women to re-enact their most memorable submissions.

Through the miracle of built-in webcams and email, I stitched together this video of nine bloggers having a laugh at the expense of some really bananas commenters. (And if anyone on YouTube is worried that my family is currently dying of consumption while I waste time not doing dishes or cooking, the entire video took me just under an hour to create — you can tell by the low production value and inconsistent audio.)

Enjoy. And be nice to a stranger today.

Now I Can Get Back to Not Having Sex
or Cleaning My House

Sunday, October 06, 2013

All my daughter knows about this past week is that I've been on the computer even more than usual, and that on Monday I wrecked her room and forgot to put the Barbie van back in its parking spot under her bed. Steve has had to be okay with all the guys on his work crew watching me twerk up on a garbage pail, and my grandmother's friends call her whenever a brunette with glasses shows up on television.

On Sunday, when I saw the original I Quit video I don't even remember where, I decided to do my own version because I like to make people laugh and figured some moms who read this blog would enjoy it. On Monday, I spent my lunch break precariously balancing my iPhone around the house and dancing, then editing the clips into a short movie that I posted to YouTube. I was shocked when it had 2,000 views by dinner time.



On Tuesday, Good Morning America called, asking for an on-air Skype interview. That portion got bumped by breaking news, but a substantial clip of the video was broadcast along with my name. On Tuesday night the video was on Nightly News, which I missed, figuring GMA was my big crescendo.

On Wednesday, all kinds of websites were picking up the video and the story behind it, The Today Show asked me the first of two times (both ultimately canceled) if I'd come to New York to appear live on the show, and GMA showed the clip a second time. Friends kept calling to tell me that their local radio stations were mentioning it, and posting links to write-ups online. The local news had us on a few broadcasts, and on Thursday, two moms at school stopped me to ask if I was the woman in the video. So that was kind of crazy. On Friday, it aired on Telemundo and a producer with The Bethenny Show asked about the possibility of sitting down with Bethenny herself. I politely declined, half figuring they'd cancel anyway.

Commenters had their opinions, and if I were to compile the most common themes into one big comment, it'd go something like:

You're a lazy MILF with no rhythm, are you single? This is the dumbest video I've ever seen, you GO girl, hilarious, but why are your boots on the bed? This was such a waste of my time, maybe you should clean instead of trying to get famous. I love this! I bet your poor husband doesn't get any blow jobs.

And then someone called me the C word and that's when I knew I'd really made it.

It's been fun and surreal and a little stressful, and it's made me realize that I'm happy with my life just as it is. I like coming here to tell stories, I love telling jokes on Facebook for people whose names I recognize and who understand where I'm coming from. Even when you guys completely disagree with something I post or write, you have really intelligent ways of debating and I appreciate that. It was hard to not reply to the negative comments just to remind the people behind them that there are actual humans on the other end of the Submit button. It's hard for me to even understand why people would want to spend so much time being miserable and spreading the Internet's unique brand of ugliness.

I'm looking forward to this week as things taper off and calm down. I appreciate the experience of the past several days and I have no illusions about what kind of "fame" that was. For a minute I was everywhere and it was exciting, and now I'll wash my sheets and load the dishwasher and make my kid pick up her underpants.

And you know, I still haven't heard from the goddamned Girl Scouts.