Suburban Snapshots

I Googled "Episiotomy"
for this Post. NEVER DO THAT.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

So, you know when you're pregnant and you've pretty much just stopped shaking and put down that tiny pee stick, and you've worked up the courage to start telling people, and then like the third person you tell congratulates you and immediately launches into the story about how she/her sister/her cousin's best friend's aunt had this unimaginably painful and traumatic labor and delivery, has an episiotomy scar that starts at her shoulders and ends at her chin, and just barely got out alive?

Why the eff to people DO that?

I know things don't always go as planned, but sometimes you know what a first-time mom needs? She needs flowers and rainbows blown up her ass about labor and delivery. She needs to know that the worst-case scenario rarely happens. She needs to know that even the sucky parts end pretty quickly. She needs a little reassurance, is all.

Photo taken 20 minutes before Anna arrived. Thank you, Modern Medicine!

This is a job for you guys. A friend of mine (and I'm sure you know plenty of expectant moms) is due this summer and is pretty anxious about the whole, beautiful, messy process of giving birth. So whether you're more comfortable emailing me or posting in the comments below, let's pull together a collection of happy birth stories, the ones where in the soft glow of your epidural, everyone in the room looked like George Clooney. The ones where you had your baby in four hours and only needed one stitch, the ones where your labor went on for twenty-five hours, but you surprised yourself with your own strength, where you were so focused on the moment you didn't have time to worry about the pain, or where having to toss out your birth plan all together turned out to be the best decision after all.

Please help me counteract the unsolicited horror stories of oversharing acquaintances with a little labor goodness. If you choose to email and want to remain anonymous, let me know in your note. And thank you.

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