Suburban Snapshots

Snow Day Drinking Game

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Anna had a snow day today, which I only realized as I pulled into the conspicuously empty school parking lot at 8:00 this morning. (Her daycare doesn't post closings on Facebook, apparently.) I did the best I could to work — which included two conference calls and a website launch — while she played hours of streaming kid shows on Netflix. Our day together inspired me to come up with this drinking game.

You can use coffee or vodka but please, parent responsibly.

Rules:
 
Take one drink each time Caillou whines about the injustices of being a balding, white kid who says, "Aboot."

Take a second drink when your daughter announces, "This is my new most favorite show!"
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Have a swig each time your kid screams "SWIPER NO SWIPING" while you're on a conference call.

Have three when she picks up the second extension to tell you she has to poop.
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Down a shot when you discover that while you went to pee, your three-year-old sent an email reading, "wrgr33whijwege 235295r egn wnge1"

Down another when you realize she replied-all to the company-wide newsletter.
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Throw one back each time she asks you to play with her and you feel guilty that you can't.

Do a chaser when you then spend fifteen minutes updating your Facebook timeline.
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Hoist one each time she's left to her own devices because you need to finish one more report.

Swallow two more before you explain to your husband why she's missing an eyebrow.

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